Let’s Talk Television: I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

I watch terrible television so you don’t have to.

New This Week

FBI (Wednesday, Paramount+)

Last week on FBI: Most Wanted, we explored Nina’s (Shantel VanSanten) anxiety about parenting, and this week on FBI we explore Scola’s (John Boyd). They are going to a destination wedding and he wants to take separate flights because it’s safer (i.e. if one goes down Dougie won’t lose both his parents, kinda dark!). This all comes into play during the case when the guy they arrest is one of Nina’s informants and she and Scola end up playing a married couple who fence diamonds. Scola wants Maggie (Missy Peregrym) or Tiffany (Katherine Renee Kane) to play his fake wife because again, it’s too dangerous for he and Nina to be in the same op. And the op does go sideways but not tragic because they are all good at their jobs. Scola agrees to take one flight.

FBI: Most Wanted (Wednesday, Paramount+)

This week’s victim-turned-villain, Alicia (Artrece Johnson), is particularly sympathetic because she is not an active participant in the murder. She’s a Nigerian refugee who was adopted by a white couple as a baby and now works as a museum archivist. Alicia was contacted by a man who pretended to be her birth father and manipulated her into helping him steal a collection of Nigerian artifacts, she thinks to repatriate them, but in fact he wants to sell them for weapons because he is an actual warlord.

Remy (Dylan McDermott) tells Alicia she was protesting the exploitation of her people in the “right way” by writing an article about it and working within the system. Which is a huge YIKES. Not just patronizing but pretty darn racist, sexist, and colonialist. I would say it’s a really interesting exploration of Remy’s flaws except that I’m not convinced the show thinks that was as terrible a thing to say as I do.

In better news, Ray (Edwin Hodge) and Cora (Caroline Harris) get engaged and it is all very sweet.

Alert Missing Persons Unit (Wednesday, Hulu)

The make-up of this show’s ensemble requires a suspension of disbelief from the drop. No way is a Philadelphia police captain allowed to employ her ex-husband, her current husband-to-be, a woman who openly talks about her past lives, and her ex-husband’s ex-partner who is under house arrest for hacking the government. So when this episode posits that Kemi (Adeola Role) and Helen (Diana Bang) held a bachelorette party for Nik (Dania Ramirez) in the precinct, body shots with the fake cop stripper and all, I just shrugged and said sure. But in reality, all of these people would be fired twelve times over by now.

Anyway, the case is ripped from the headlines: when an influencer traveling across the country in the van goes missing her potentially abusive boyfriend becomes the prime suspect. But unlike in life, the story unfolds a different way and instead, she was run off the road by an irate line cook upset that she told her thousands of followers to skip their expensive, pretentious, and inauthentic restaurant (I’m a vegetarian but a Philly cheesesteak with fennel sounds absurd to even me). I guess the boyfriend’s excuse of “she fell in the woods” was true? And his overbearing insecurity in the first scene is not a red flag? And now they are going to get married and give up instagram and everything will be fine even though they don’t have jobs and their van is totaled? Idk, babes, it was a weird case.

In other news, Nik and Mike (Ryan Broussard) are back on track to get happily married while Jay (Scott Caan) and Wayne (Alisha Ahamed) are moving forward with a relationship that neither of them is ready to be moving forward with. Jay is not over Nik and literally everyone knows it. A random woman at Wayne’s motel came up to tell him not to break her heart! And Wayne’s clearly had feelings since before they were divorced and I just think this is a terrible idea. Meanwhile, Kemi is in a relationship with someone who sent her dozens of roses and offered to rescue her from lockdown with a helicopter.

Law & Order (Friday, Peacock)

This felt like a backdoor pilot for Law & Order: Post-Conviction Review Unit. The victim was chef Jordan Bryant aka Jordan Walker who served 12 years for a crime he didn’t commit and was awarded $10mil in a settlement after DNA evidence exonerated him. But he only ever saw about $1mil and he spent it all on his business, his daughter, and the standard cost of living in NYC (sounds legit). The other $9mil went to his lawyer, who becomes the chief suspect when it’s revealed that he was set to become a judge and Walker was going to make noise about him taking advantage of the system to steal all his money.

tldr; it wasn’t the lawyer, it was his wife and Baxter (Tony Goldwyn) gets to have two big press moments. In the first, he says he’s expanding the post-conviction review unit, and in the second he praises Nolan (Hugh Dancey) and Sam (Odelya Halevi) for dismissing the charges against their defendant— i.e. admitting they were wrong —instead of pushing forward with shaky evidence. It’s an imperfect process and prosecutors are the last line of defense, says Baxter. That’s an even more rosy (read: unrealistic) view of the DA’s office than usual.

Law & Order: SVU (Friday, Peacock)

Maddie Watch: the trial is over and the verdict is in— except not, there is one juror who is convinced George from Canada (Patrick Carroll) is not guilty. She accuses the rest of the jurors of coercing her to vote guilty but the truth is George convinced her they were destined to be together. Mistrial!

Maddie (Allison Elaine) discloses that George sexually abused her and Carisi (Peter Scanavino) adds that to the charges for the new trial. George’s lawyer suggests he take the deal so George decides to represent himself. He doesn’t ask Liv (Mariska Hargitay) any questions, just tries to rattle her, but he makes Sykes (Jordana Spiro) defensive and gets in Maddie’s head. Eileen (Leslie Fray) decides to take matters into her own hands, first trying to seduce him and then threatening him at gunpoint. Liv talks her down by treating George like the scum he is (Captain Badass Bitch Mode remains her default) and appealing to her maternal instincts (Captain Badass Bitch Mom Mode). Also turns out the gun wasn’t loaded so she gets off with community service (I wish I cared about the Flynns as much as I am meant to) . George’s soft appeal to the new jury doesn’t stand up to Carisi’s rapid fire bullet points that Maddie was 15 and drugged and George abused her right in front of them on the stand so imagine what he did when they were alone. George is found guilty on both counts.

SO, to recap.

I can extrapolate that the reason Olivia is so invested in Maddie’s case is related to the chart above but once again: is this going somewhere and if so where and when? There are only three episodes left.

The background thread of Curry (Aimé Donna Kelly) baking might be my favorite thing in the whole season which is a problem (though it’s adorable and I really like Curry).

Law & Order: Organized Crime (Friday, Peacock)

This is a stunning not-quite-hour of television. Every piece of it was crafted and executed perfectly. The writing, the acting, the directing, the editing, the music, the production design, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. It is brilliant, it is beautiful, and it is devastating.

We jump right into Sorrowland with Elliot (Christopher Meloni) seeing flashes of memories about Sam (Abubakr Ali) and his family while he throws dirt over his body to cover up his death. When they return to the group Elliot loses it at Angus (Stephen Lang): “He was one of us, he was a marine!” This makes Tyler (Tyler Holtzman) more angry and suspicious than he already was but he’s working Angus. If you need more proof that Elliot is a) the best at UC work b) because he uses his whole damn self to do it—

Next is a scene with Angus and his mama (Lois Smith) that proves Elliot’s outburst hit its mark. We learn that Angus “made a deal with the devil” to save his farm, his family home and safe space for vets, and the drugs and occasional burial are “the price of business”. But he is clearly in over his head and Ma does not approve. There’s no Elliot listening in here so this is for us. The next scene shows the OCCB team discovering the bad financials, aka the motive, but the porch scene gives us the context.

Elliot needs to tell his team about Sam and uses Darian’s (Tobias Forrest) meeting to do it. This scene is phenomenal. Full stop. Two younger vets introduce themselves. They are nobody, could be anybody, but I picture them being drawn into the honey-bee conspiracy and worry, that’s how deep in I already am. Ayanna (Danielle Moné Truitt) tells a story and the team wonders how much of it is based in truth. Her wondering “Why them and not me?” is certainly true. Then Elliot speaks. Here are my notes: JESUS CHRIST ELLIOT at the meeting I am SOBBING, Bobby and Jet and Ayanna and Vargas all of them make me CRYYYYYYYY. He tells the story of losing a member of his five-person plus one techie team and burying him in enemy soil. Each of the team reacts to the realization that Sam is dead and each one is heartbroken and heartbreaking. Each and every performance is incredible. Chris Meloni continues to be the actual best actor on television and give Danielle Moné Truitt all the awards.

Elliot tells Ayanna where to find Sam’s body and she sends Bobby (Rick Gonzalez) to find it, saying “Take Vargas. I don’t want anyone alone right now.” and we all cry because Elliot is alone right now. Ayanna heads out to tell Stacey Sam is gone and Jet (Ainsley Sieger) goes with her, saying “I’m not leaving you alone either.” and we all cry again (let’s be real, we haven’t stopped crying since about 45 seconds into this episode). THIS TEAM.

Elliot’s passed whatever tests Angus set up for him so he’s invited to see behind the curtains at the drug operation. He sneaks back in the night to steal info and is caught by Cressida (Rivera Reese). (I guess her name is Trisha but I am going to continue calling her Cressida.) But it’s okay because she’s also undercover, for ATF. She figured out he’s NYPD based on his story at the meeting and she confirms that “Red Coat” killed Sam, not anyone on Team Bee. Red Coat is Mama’s name for Angus’s partner, Julian Emory, who runs both drugs and guns. They pretend to be making out to avoid capture and look, I’m ride or die for EO but I am not opposed to a sexual side quest if these two are feeling it.

Back at home Randall (Dean Norris) is unable to get ahold of Elliot and decides to go looking for Joey (Michael Trotter) on his own. He dresses like a cartoon bandit and gets arrested breaking into the warehouse. Vargas (Tate Ellington) is keeping tabs on chatter about Elliot, which alerts him to Randall’s arrest so he bails him out and picks him up and OMG VARGAS AND RANDALL BUDDY ROAD TRIP WHEN.

Back at Healey House, a vet named Nolan (Clinton Brandhagen) is holding the meeting hostage because Darien suggested he talk to his wife and it went badly. So badly that his wife left him and then he killed her and their children while in a fugue state. Elliot talks Nolan down because he is fucking great at his job but this is all too much actually (affectionate).

Hightower (Maurice P. Kerry) wakes up and is set to blow Elliot’s cover so he tells Cressida to call Ayanna. This results in the team absconding with and arresting Hightower before he can be questioned. Good job Cressida, good job team. The piled-up events of the episode have taken a toll on Angus who decides to meet with Red Coat. The meet-up does not go as planned (no Red Coat, just shooting), and they send the shooter with a message that his boss is next. They’re going to war.

The team tracks Red Coat to the warehouse where Randall was arrested but it’s been emptied out. Ayanna pulls in Randall, who is worried he knows more than they do. The squad returns to tell Bell that Sam’s blood was found in the warehouse. Randall asks what it means that their dead cop’s blood was found at the warehouse where his druggie brother works. NOTHING GOOD.

Just to reiterate something I said earlier in the season, this series is about all the people Elliot (and team) can’t save and it is made for me.

So Help Me Todd (Friday, Paramount+)

Sadly, this series will not return next year (CSI: Vegas was also canceled). It’s sad because all of the other series are trying to be the same kind of show: an action-oriented crime procedural centered on an elite squad. This one is comedic and centered on family. I will miss it (and CSI: Vegas) but to be honest, more for its potential than what it accomplished (in other words, neither of these series are Organized Crime, but then, nothing is).

Anyway, this was a fun enough episode. Margaret (Marcia Gay Harden) is defending a young woman who accused her professor of sexual harassment on TikTok so he’s suing her for defamation. Another young woman shows up too late to testify that the accusations were true, but through shenanigans Margaret and Lyle (Tristen J. Winger) get her story and reopen the case. Meanwhile, Lawrence (Matthew Wilkas) hires Todd (Sklyar Astin) to find out if a judicial nominee is gay. They infiltrate a costume party and Lawrence gets drunk off of Jello shots. Everybody convenes at Todd’s apartment to find Allison (Madeline Wise) in bed with Dick Franks (Dean Winters). Todd had been trying to follow Dick’s (awful) advice to be a “lone wolf” with “no distractions” and stay away from cute coffee girl Judy (Heather Morris) but now he’s going to risk love.

Also Watching

In addition to Black Butler, Top Chef Wisconsin, and Star Trek: Discovery (you can still find my thoughts about it at Antimatter Pod), I’ve seen the first few episodes of Knuckles (out next Friday on Paramount+) so look forward to a review this week.

Mental Illness Sidebar

Olivia brings Maddie to her EMDR therapist and I cannot express how bad this is on every level. 1. Olivia made an appointment with her therapist for a minor and did not tell her parents. A therapist whom we already know has no problem telling Olivia her minor patient’s personal details. 2. Olivia “borrows” the minor from her parents and still does not tell them what she’s doing. 3. Olivia tells the minor she will wait there as long as it takes proving she is way, way, way too close to this and sets up the expectation that the minor should tell her what went on in there. She is a cop! Whom Maddie has disclosed to more than once! How can Maddie not think that further disclosure is the expectation?! All of this is unethical and parts of it feel illegal and I hate it. The portrayal of mental healthcare on television is important to destigmatize and normalize mental healthcare but wildly inappropriate portrayals like this mess are actively harmful.

Elliot continues to have post-traumatic stress dreams. This is the third round. The first included Jamie and Olivia from last year’s finale, the second featured Kathy’s death, and this time they stretch all the way back to his time in Iraq. Given the themes of the season, I think we could get one more that shows his childhood. And maybe then we can set him on the road to healing all these traumas.

Ship of the Week

The FBIs have really stepped up their shipping game. Not only are Nina and Scola going strong and Ray and Cora engaged, they are throwing cute crumbs like this at Maggie and OA shippers.

Song of the Week

I have to shout out Organized Crime‘s composer, Ruth Barrett. The music in the series is as “better than it has any right to be” as everything else in the series and has been from the beginning. Here is my favorite motif (from season two).

Show of the Week

Organized Crime. No surprise but also this week took what has been an amazing season to a new level. If you have seen no episodes of this show go watch this one.

What are YOU watching?