Let’s Talk Television: Functionally Dysfunctional

I watch terrible television so you don’t have to.

New This Week

CSI: Vegas (Monday, Paramount+)

Josh (Matt Lauria) is reinstated, as a CSI level 1. Before the incident, he was a level 3 in the running for a supervisor position so this is a fall, but he was going to lose the job completely before Max (Paula Newsome) stepped in to save him. And that’s what the entire episode was about, the relationship between Max and Josh. There was a crime and a crime scene and a crime scene investigation but the purpose of this episode was to further Josh’s story by way of his mentor.

Max testified about the facts of the case against Josh, and it was not only damning evidence, she pretty much damned him. She condemned his behavior and she pulled no punches. To Josh, it was a betrayal. But Allie (Mandeep Dhillon) tells him he needs to tell his own story, to take ownership of the narrative or the one Max and the review board put up would be the only record. He confesses to taking his mother’s blood from the lab and erroneously using his CSI credentials to get access to the hanger where his mother was killed (an active crime scene), and admits that he was in a bad head space and seeking a justice that was really revenge. The review board take that as a guilty plea but Max sees it as the first step in his atonement. She becomes his “fiercest defender” and convinces them to let him stay under her supervision. The undersheriff thinks she set them up and warns her they are now inextricably linked.

The case was classic CSI, two murdered Rat Pack impersonators and a very convoluted crime. Catherine (Marg Helgenberger) and Beau (Lex Medlin) continue to clash though they are getting along better by the end. But mainly, it made me miss Greg.

Death and Other Details (Tuesday, Hulu)

So they released the two last episodes of season one this week. Unfortunately, I think the reason behind that decision is they knew it’s a weak ending. The penultimate episode confirms that Victor Samms is an organization run by Imogene’s not-actually-dead mother Kira aka Agent Erikson (Linda Emond). Then in the finale Imogene (Violett Beane), Rufus (Mandy Patinkin), Leila (Pardis Saremi), Jules (Hugo Diego Garcia), Teddy (Angela Zhou), and Sunil (Rahul Kohli) conspire to take her down.

The Kira reveal hinges on Imogene’s memory of her mother’s death being wrong. This is in keeping with Rufus’s teaching but makes the series’ gimmicks feel cheap instead of clever. Kira’s death was also the whole basis of the story and she’s as horrible a person and parent as the Colliers so that feels gross, too. In the end Imogene solves the mystery and gets justice for Danny. And we go into a potential season two with a Leverage-style crime fighting team.

Surprising no one who knows me, screwed-up siblings Anna (Laura Patten) and Tripp (Christian Hastings) are my faves, and the reveal that Anna murdered her mom, Kira helped her cover it up, and now she’s trapped working for Victor Samms is easily the most interesting part of the finale for me.

Alert Missing Persons Unit (Wednesday, Hulu)

Yes, it’s another crime procedural that I watch for the dysfunctional family dynamics. In this one the Missing Persons Unit (MPU) is headed by Captain Nikki Batista (Dania Ramirez), her sergeant, Mike (Ryan Broussard), is also her fiancé, and her best/most problematic detective, Jason (Scott Caan), is her ex-husband. Nik and Jay broke up because their own son went missing; that was the main mystery of season one (tldr; they were scammed into thinking he was found but ultimately they learned he was killed).

In this season two premiere, the MPU gets a new boss and a new office, and Jay gets a new potential love interest in Wayne (Alisha-Marie Ahamed), a hacker he worked with in the army that Nikki didn’t realize was a woman and is instantly jealous of. I can’t imagine any of these dynamics being acceptable in the real world— yes, of course you should be in charge of a unit that includes your ex-husband and your current husband, that will absolutely never cause problems. But it is THE BEST in the world of terrible television.

Plus the supporting cast is great. Kemi (Adeola Role) is a detective with a religious background, their forensic specialist, C Hemingway (Petey Gibson), is trans-masc, and they had an officer use a wheelchair in this episode with no fanfare, which is exactly as it should be.

Elsbeth (Friday, Paramount+)

(Elsbeth premiered last week and will return in April. This is a recap of the pilot episode.)

I was a little worried about this show. Elsbeth Tascioni (Carrie Preston) is the kind of quirky character that works best in guest appearances (on The Good Wife and The Good Fight). But in theory, building out the quirks into a fully realized character would allow her to become an interesting protagonist. It’s not clear that’s happened yet, she was still mostly annoyingly perky and quirky in this pilot. But it’s a pilot so I rate on a curve and it passes for now.

Elsbeth is in NYC for a year, to observe the NYPD for corruption, brutality, etc. Their backup lawyer for this job is Cary Agos, which is extremely cute (derogatory) of the writers and I think backfires because I want the Cary Agos show. But Elsbeth won them over in the end by solving their crime and catching the murderer when they weren’t even sure it was a murder. Preston shines in the role and I like her potential buddy cop buddy Officer Kaya (Carra Patterson). The rest is to be determined.

Also Watching

I finished Arcane: League of Legends and I may never recover. Jinx is all my favorite characters rolled into a psychotic teen girl and in these dark days of 2024, her energy is my energy.

Mental Illness Sidebar

I talked about Elliot Stabler with my therapist.

Ship of the Week

There are some relationship shenanigans in Death and Other Details (Imogene/Jules v Imogene/Sunil and the tortured love story of Leila/Anna). And in MPU Nik/Mike/Jay/Wayne is delightful to watch.

Song of the Week

Show of the Week

Alert Missing Persons Unit.

What are YOU watching?